A good buddy of mine is a Canadian ex patriot living in Japan right now and since we gamed together for years a good chunk of our emailed correspondence is Nerd related, the rest is.... well Hockey. Recently he came up with something hilarious so we figured we should post it here. Enjoy.
Pies Iesu domine, dona eis requiem . . . Whack!
In a recent side conversation Mr. Misanthropy and I have been
discussing that other obsession that all us gamers share
(aside from nerding it up). You know it, Mr. Misanthropy knows it, I
know it, and Rich Burlew knows it well (Oots#136 It's Not a Gaming
Session Until Someone Quotes Monty Python). We can all do the
Constitutional Peasant in our sleep or maybe that`s just me.
But have you ever really thought, how well would the Pythons do in a
gaming environment? I think the answer is not very well. Those pasty
Cambridge boys would be chopped into bait faster than you can say Fish
Slapping Dance. But one of their immortal creations would easily
survive and terrorize even the most hardened group of gamers.
So here, for your enjoyment and edification is the Fiendish Vorpal Bunny:
Fiendish Vorpal Bunny
Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 4D10-4 (18)
AC: 18(dexterity, dodge, tiny size)/ touch 18/ flatfooted 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +9/-5
Attack: Bite 1d4-3 (15-20)
Space/Reach: 0/0 ft
Special Attacks: Keen Vorpal Bite, Pounce
Damage reduction 10/fire, Low-light vision
- Fortitude: +2
- Reflex: +8
- Will: +1
- Strength: 3
- Dexterity: 20
- Constitution: 8
- Intelligence: 3
- Wisdom: 10
- Charisma: 3
Skills: Jump +8, Tumble +8
Feats: Weapon Finesse (Bite), Dodge, Mobility
Environment: Cave of Caer-Banog or cold mountains
Challenge Rating: 6
Treasure: Rare collectors copy of Monty Python Shooting script
Alignment: Always Neutral
Keen Vorpal Bite: The Fiendish Vorpal Bunny bite is its deadliest
attack. On a successful critical, the bunny`s bite decapitates its
victim with no save possible.
Pounce: On a charge the Fiendish Vorpal Bunny can make two attacks
instead of one.